Selfishness. I've realized that I have been pretty selfish. I go to Birthday Parties with no present. I go to weddings and sometimes don't even get a present to them. I don't pick up tabs (unless it's a date) and I don't offer to help out unless I have nothing else to do.
I realized this when I went out on a date wednesday night. It was strange to be opening the door for the woman, trying to think of her needs more than my own comfort...and I thought...sweet mother of mercy, am I this self-centered that I can't even figure out how to serve others? I help out at a homeless shelter every month, and I still don't know what it means to serve others more than myself? *sigh*
The weird thing at the date was that after dinner, we went to starbucks, where we had coffee and just talked for a while about her life...really good conversation. What I didn't know was that 2 of my close friends (sue and heather) came in to the coffeeshop, saw me with this date. Since I had a history with Sue, and recently at that, we were still trying to figure out how to be friends again...
So in addition to seeing me talking with the girl, they park next to me, and see me doing all the 'date' stuff that you usually do, opening the door for her, making sure she gets into the car ok, etc, etc....
needless to say, I got some flack from heather and sue that night...
Today I have a crap load of things to do, and hopefully will get it all done by 7:30pm, when the YAMNYEP starts!
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