what a weekend. a weekend of partying and no sleep. we had the YAM NYE Party, and it was a blast. we ended up going till about 2am, and then there were the after parties...didn't get home till 4am, and then after that, I had to get up at 7:30am to volunteer for a soup kitchen. ugh. I'm still trying to get my body back on schedule.
so not much for today, as I need to get sleep and recover from this whole weekend...
On the topic of selfishness, a friend ask me to give one of her friends a call to go to YAM. initially, I thought, 'aww man, this sucks, cause now I will be responsible for this guy's social life at YAM, and I'm not going to be able to talk to my friends, meet women, etc, etc...
but I stopped for a second and thought about this..why am I saying this? I'm saying this because I think "if I don't go and meet women, then I'm never going to find a wife. " but I was struck by how much this shows that I don't trust God in this, that he will bring the right woman into my life.
maybe it's my parents wearing me down, or maybe it's my stage of life, but here I am at 32, seeing myself just go through life passively, and wondering what does God have in store for me. Sometimes I wonder if God has given up on me as well, cause I find myself having thoughts like, "well, if I don't do this, it's not going to happen." Maybe I need to start having more faith that whatever events/happenings happen, I would have more faith that God will be the one who is doing the work, rather than me.
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