Do I need to go overseas?

Went to YAM Last night, and ended up staying there till 11:30pm...So much for my short lived desire to "go to sleep early, and wake up early". FYI, I woke up at 8:45am this morning....

Did you read in the newspaper about the missionary that was killed in the Philippines? Here's the story if you missed it. Well, my friend Kris is a missionary kid from the Philippines, and was part of the same group with the Burnhams. At YAM, there was the prayer for the people who were going on the missions field, and while by the time I got to the prayer area everyone was already praying, I felt like God was doing a great work in the lives of these people. So I just talked with Kris for a little while, and after everyone finished praying, I got to talk to some of the people going overseas, and it's amazing to see how many people are going now. When I went on a missions trip, it was just a couple of us, probably 6-8. Now it's more like 40 people are going overseas. Praise God!

This begs the question for me personally. These people are going overseas to spread the gospel and are getting shot, imprisoned, etc, etc..and here I sit on my nice 9-5 job, sitting soaking up money, and spending it on stereo, kitchenware, furniture, computer parts, and dreaming about saving for a home projector. How petty is that?!?! Is there any place for a Christian with a awesome home theater when there are people who are thirsting for the Word and cannot hear it because people like me are not willing to go? The total depravity of man. Embodied by me.

It's got me wondering about whether or not I need to go overseas. I was talking to my friends about this, about how all my friends are here, and that I have a home, job, family, etc, etc...all right here in chicago. So why should I go? Probably because Christ asks us to go. Matthew 28:11. But there is this attachment to the life that I am living now, even though I rail against it all the time. If I were honest, I like working at a nice job, getting nice things, and watching the house prices go up, and I am sitting on a nest egg. Sometimes I feel like I am doing good here, ministering to others in the church, but somehow the analytical side of me says that I would be better off serving those who hunger, rather than those who have much...

Ok, I know this is a big question to be thinking about in a blog, but in the immortal words of my brother Sam, "Mmm...eh?" Part of me is scared of leaving this life and going overseas, because will I have this life waiting for me when I get back? I know this is a trust thing with the Lord, and I haven't quite given this over to the Lord quite yet.

Ok, there is the once-a-month deep though of josh chen. Now back to our regularly scheduled blog programming.

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