Weekend

It was a lazy weekend for the most part. The busy saturday that I was going to have turned out to be a lot tamer than I thought. No breakfast at 7:30am (woke up at 10am) Helping someone move. (got there just as they finished), and went to church and hung out with a friend to watch Four Brothers. (which is a good movie suprisingly, since it was created by MTV films. I was expecting some kind of stupid "I'm gonna dance the way I want and I'm gonna change the world" theme)

My life is slowly draining out of me. At first I was thinking it was because I didn't have a GF, or that I was living this bachelor life, but I realize that it's something more fundamental than that . For all my ambitions, and desires to be successful in life, everytime I achieve a success in life, it's fleeting. I could buy and sell houses and make a lot of money, but that isn't fulfillling. Before I knew that possessions didn't mean anything, that the more you acquire, the more you hunger. But even with success, it is the same thing. Just chasing after the wind as solomon speaks of. The guy had it right. Even if I am successful in the working world, it doesn't matter. I'm putting energy into things that are not necessary, that are not lasting, because initially they shine brighter than that which lasts.

I fed Daniel my nephew last night, and it was great. He would be looking at me as he sucked on the bottle, and there was this connection that I can't describe. Does this make me want to have kids? yes, I do have to admit that having a lot of kids and growing them up in the Lord would be awesome. I just need to point my life in a different direction than the one I have now, cause the end of this road that I am walking down does not look good