Got Game?

Watched "Hitch" last night. Some parts were very contrived, and didn't come off real well, but overall the movie was very interesting, more of a discussion topic rather than a feel good type of movie.

It did get me thinking about "having game" and not. i.e. the art of seduction. Seduction has a negative connotation, but in reality, isn't that what we are doing when we are flirting? trying to create mystery, or drama that may not exist.

I do find that I am more cognitive of "my game" as I grow older, and that it doesn't come as naturally to me anymore. In my younger years, I never thought that I was playing "games" but yet everyone has game to some extent. But why is this? why do I have to play the game? is it because this is how to raise interest in someone? Are games cultural?

It makes me wonder if I am relying upon my "game" more so than myself? i.e. I know what to do in a particular situation to leaving them hanging, thereby wanting more, but that isn't naturally what I am...I think the game gets you to the first date, but beyond that it's you that they're interested in.

This approach always leads me to an awkward first date. I'm torn between trying to maintain this illusion that I am this suave, debonaire guy who has it all together, and showing that I am a normal guy that fails a lot, has self-esteem issues, and doesn't have it all together. I cannot do both, I have never been a multi-tasker and the 2 selves do not blend together.

So here I am torn. I know what to do to make myself attractive to women, but I cannot keep that going forever, because it is not who I am, at least all the time. And I'm deathly scared to show who I really am, because if I did, people would see the jerk and stupid man that I am.

So what to do? I don't know. Keep playing the game, but try to keep it honest as possible? we'll see.