Patterns

I am always interested in seeing patterns in my life. How I deal with situations, how I respond to chances to improve upon myself.

What I have realized is that I don't respond well in situations where I am not in control. I realize that most people don't, so that isn't what worries me. It is that I haven't been in situations where I am not in control very often. I can go throughout life and do what I would like to do, and avoid those situations where I am out of control. But I need those types of situations, because then I can know how to deal more effectively in situations where I am out of control.

Things with Holly-rae didn't work out. I wasn't really feeling it there, and while she is a very attractive woman, I don't know if we track alike in the mind and spirit. It's ok, as it makes me wonder...if I am going to go for the attractive women, I have to realize that the lifestyle that they have is different from mine typically. In a lot of ways, I type HR as bland, simply because I cannot read whether or not she is engaged, or if she is disinterested...She never seems to be too excited about things, and I wonder if it is because of me? i.e. because I am not a good conversationalist beyond the first 1-2 conversation.