Woodstock...in every state.

Yesterday I went to bufu land a.k.a. Woodstock, IL. I heard once that there is a Woodstock in every US state. I don't know if it is true, but you can check Illinois off the list of possible states that wouldn't have woodstock. In any case, it was a good time to be had, just hanging with friends and Scott's family. Turns out their family owns a horse! For some reason, I am not comfortable around big animals...there's a certain unknown about the animal that I have trouble reconciling with. Everyone rode the horse except me and a couple of the girls...I'm such a wuss. :) I think it's because I work with computers, and so my world consists of things that are neat, orderly, and most importantly clean/sterile. i.e. a program can't be covered in dirt, because it exists only on the intellectual level, rather than the physical level.

A interesting thing happened at the party. Everyone got into the pool, and they were all having a lot of fun, but I refused to take part in it. Why? I don't know. I don't mind the water (I know how to swim, scuba and snorkel) but for some reason, I didn't want to. It was better for me to be looking out wistfully at the people playing in the water than for me to actually participate...That's when I realized this disturbing thing about me. I love the role of the victim...of being wronged, or being oppressed. It's crazy, but to be the one who didn't get the promotion, the one who can't play because they have to stay in to do their homework, the one who didn't make it to the top, the one who was right, but was ridiculed...Those are the roles that I feel most comfortable with. Why is that? Maybe I love the tragedy, as evidenced by some of the films I liked the best. (Schindler's list, Braveheart, Gladiator) Hmmm...somehow got to get beyond that. Maybe if I could ever get past the analytical stage and into the doing-something-about-it stage, things would change...*sigh* But right now, I don't feel like it.

It's going to be a packed weekend! I'm meeting my friend Gina tonight, just to hang with her and her husband...tomorrow is my big bike ride to geneva WI, and Sunday is Ultimate Frisbee and dinner at the parents place. And here I am sitting at work. When everyone else is out and about, enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather. *sigh* (notice the tragedy role here...)

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