God hates singles

Warning, this is long. I have a lot of thoughts and it's cathartic for me to write about them.

Sometimes I really think God is against singles. That the only mention of singleness that is positive in the Bible is that Paul was single and also that he exhorted that if it was up to him (not as a command from the Lord) that we should all be single so that we are not divided in attention. Otherwise you look at the Bible and it says, "it is not good for man to be alone". I would agree with that. Then comes the Overseers and deacons. For those who don't know what a Overseer is, it is someone who is given authority over the ministries of the church (pastors, elders, etc) Deacons are just servants of the church, so that could be anyone else. What is common between these 2? Be the husband of one wife. i.e. married. Everywhere you see, it's about being married. So maybe God doesn't hate singles, but His plan is to get people hitched so if you are single, then God is saying, "get married".

But given the social culture of where we are at right now, with more and more people getting married later and later (27 is the average age at this point) there seems to be a backlash on "why do I have to get married?" and part of that has infiltrated the church as well. I'm not one of them. I want to get married. I want to have kids and a family and pour into kids to grow them up in the ways of the Lord. yet at 35, I start wondering what plan God has for me.

This is what we talked about in class yesterday and evidently at my church as well (they had a meeting that I wasn't able to go to). Turns out my church is segregating the 20s and 30s into different ministries and they are going to be a bit draconian on which ministry you are to be ministered to. i.e. no one well into their 30s can come into the 20s group, and I assume vice versa (although that was not specifically addressed).

This illustrates the mega church phenomenon and issues at the same time. mega churches are growing. They are growing into what I would call a corporate entity. They do things their way, and really do not work well with other churches, either because of their size, or because there is a "not built in house" mentality that permeates the church psyche. What this does is limit the way that that the mega church can minister to people groups of society. Because of their size, they have a "corporate" mentality. That is, we do ministry this way and that's it. They break it up by demographic or some other way, but there isn't really a flexibility in terms of ministering where the people are at, it is ministering where the church is at. People are drawn in by the pastor's teaching, which is very good and then are faced with the choice of marching in step with the ministries of the church as they are setup. Have a ministry that God's placed a burden on your heart for? No, we cannot do this because we do ministry in xyz manner.

While this may sound like a diatribe against my church, it isn't. My church does many things really well and it is a testament that the church is growing not only in size but in depth. I have seen the growth that God has been doing and it's a blessing to see. What I am trying to say is that I think God has been placing in my heart a ministry that doesn't fit into any one of the existing church ministries well. I have a heart for taiwan at this point, but my church only goes to romania and benin. I have a heart for the transitionary period from ages 22-25, the first couple of years after college, but my church does not allow me to minister to them (currently am a bible study leader for a bunch of 22-25 yo, but that will end soon). I helped lead the singles ministry for 4 years pouring myself into it without the support of the church (we had a $300 budget for the YEAR), and now there is a bigger budget and a different leadership team. So do I leave the church? I've been here for 11 years, and it's like a family to me. But on the flip side, i've been here 11 years, and I feel like I am stagnating. I serve in the church. I do everything they ask of me. And maybe I'm tired of being a good little soldier. Maybe it's because I'm 35. I don't know. But the longer I am here, the more I start to disagree with how ministry is being done at church and wondering if I should stay or should I go. Should I go to a church that is more in line with what God is doing in my heart? Or should I continue to go to my church as it is kind of a family and there should be a level of commitment?