Fasting

Last night, Dr. Solomon spoke at our thursday night, and it was amazing to hear him speak the words of God to us. I'm overjoyed that the Lord's Spirit came down and spoke with the people, although we really didn't have time set aside to let the Lord work...I felt like I should have said something to Jeff about it, and see if we could have done that. Part of that was the preparatation, and the other side is that I still don't feel like I have the authority to do that. Either that, or I do have the authority, but I don't want the responsibility if it isn't what God wanted in the first place.

The second note is that a friend of mine suggested that I should fast and pray about what God wants for me. I haven't fasted in a long time, but after Dr. Solomon's talk, I really feel like I need to determine what God wants for me, rather than wasting another year of my life waddling around trying to find out what gives me purpose and meaning, because it's not work for sure.

But how long do I fast? I don't want to kill myself doing it, but at the same time, I know that I want to earnestly seek after God and KNOW what He wants for my life.

Something Dr. Solomon said was so true, was that there is that one thing in my life that I hold onto, that if God took it away, I would be destroyed. but maybe that is exactly what needs to happen, and it's my reluctance in giving up my career, my hopes and dreams and replacing them with God's hopes and dreams. But in the back of my mind, I think that my hopes and dreams will give me more fulfillment than what God's hopes and dreams are. How many of us believe that in our heart of hearts? I know I do, and I don't want to believe that.