The Grieving process

I was thinking today about the grieving process. How long does it take, what shape and form does it take? Is it better to process silently, is it better to "purge" if you will? I wonder sometimes if the easterners have it right when they wear black for a period of days to mourn.

One of my friends from college died a couple of weeks ago and this morning I was really thinking about it. I wasn't really that close with the guy, but it wasn't like we never talked either, but it scares me a little bit that this death makes it 2 people semi-close to me who have died in the past year. Do I mourn about it? Not really. I regret never talking to one of them as I do not believe he was a christian...and what is worse was that he was killed in a violent crime.

I realize I am lost when dealing with tragedy, or grief. I turn my feelings off and just focus on the hard facts and move on from there, trying to emulate a computer the best that I can. This approach has worked well for me so far, but I wonder if different approaches are better in the long run, as I think that sometimes my approach isn't always "clean" when I finish...(I probably didn't make any sense at all)

I think because of God giving me eyes to see the brokenness and hurts and I carry in my heart, I start seeing it in other people, giving me some compassion for them. I start to wonder with everyone I talk to, "what burden are they carrying? what hurt are they harboring in their hearts underneath that cheery disposition?" Unfortunately, my strength only works with analyzing and understanding, and doesn't help much with solutions or application. That was much of my frustration with my previous relationship was that I didn't know how to address the situation or problem and I could never articulate any good solutions with K.

so part of me is thinking that I should decide to take some of the biblical counseling courses at the Biblical counseling center at my church. I want to know, I want to understand how to help people in their situation, what they are dealing with, what is the Biblical approach to issues and hurts that we all carry with us. I want to take these counseling courses now, but I know the only chance that I will get is to take them during the summer when I am not taking any moody courses. So I guess I'll wait till then.