Worldly Advice

So as I am talking to many people about this, in an effort to meet this head on, I start finding out that in all honesty, my non-christian friends are so much more helpful in this than my christian friends. I find that my christian friends lend a ear, hear what I am saying and reply back in one form or another, "Trust in the Lord that He has a plan for both of you." While I understand that this is truth and is the right thing, it doesn't give me any settling in my heart. I know this stuff. I know that the Lord has great plans and maybe I do need to grasp onto this truth tightly. But my heart still hurts. My emotions go all over the place. I am looking for a reason, something to say, "you'll be ok, this is how relationships work until the One"

Now when I talk to my non-christian friends, they are so much more impartial and they cut through the chatter and fluff and get right down to it. I was talking with Gina my friend from college who has known me for 17 years and in some ways, I thank God for her. I know that she comes from a worldly perspective, but she is so discerning in terms of relationships and so much of what she says makes sense that I tend to believe what she is saying. What is she saying?

That at some point, there may have been an attraction to me, but that attraction has worn off or changed and she is not attracted anymore. She may say she is, but in reality, if she was still attracted strongly enough, she wouldn't have been trying to break up the relationship and that's the bottom line. Of course, she pulled out the line, "it's me, not you." but in reality, it's more likely "it's you, not me, but I want to be nice about it and not hurt your feelings anymore."

And you know what? That has the ring of truth to it. I have to say that after I talked with Gina, I felt at peace. I know that people can lose their attraction for someone and I'm ok with that. What I cannot reconcile is that K still is attracted to me and we broke up. That doesn't gel in my mind and that causes me to tear myself apart trying to figure out what I could have done differently.

all this to say, I get a little worried that it's my non-christian friends who seem to have the most insight into the situation, that they are the ones who can best articulate why a relationship broke apart (albeit from a non-christian viewpoint), rather than my christian friends. (wilkin being the exception. that man has a lot of wisdom!) So part of me yearns to talk to non-christians about this because it seems that they know what to say and what to do, while with christians, it just seems that they kind of know what to say and kind of what to do and everything else they don't know becomes, "Bring it to the Lord". Which is true, but cold comfort sometimes.